3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
