You really coming over, don't trick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
