their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize