oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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