i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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