Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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