her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
