just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
