do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
