I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
