Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
