I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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