i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
