out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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