She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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