I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
