Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
