she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize