then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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