Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
