I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
