Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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