It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
