things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
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Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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