Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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