I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
