STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
did i walk over a car last night?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
