Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
