I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
