She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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