I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
