so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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