I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pappa wants mamma naked
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The air was thick with penises
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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