Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
