i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
