I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
