It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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