id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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