There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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