So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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