There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
