im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
