dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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