Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
