Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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