I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery