she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.