I'm jealous of your bromance
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let's get the cat blown out
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize