Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
