After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
