Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
