D3 body, D1 cock
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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