I'm lost and stupid without you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
