At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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