Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
