so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
