i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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