I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
