Swine flu. Run for my life!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
