So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
3pm strippers are depressing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
