I think my vagina is haunted
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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