WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
