Fuck appropriateness.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
