He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
